An Open Letter To Teenage Virgins

Firstly let me explain that this train of thought was the product of my teenage cousin asking me about sex. Let us continue….

All your friends are at ‘it’ or at least they claim to be. They brag about their conquests (real or imagined) and their vast and all encompassing sexual knowledge. They mock you when don’t recognise sexual terminology and worst of all they call you a virgin! You can’t argue with the name, because the truth of the matter is, that you are still very much a virgin. It’s the way they say it, how each letter is doused in mockery and shame. There is a painful stigma that comes with possessing your ‘V card’ and it seems your peers are rushing to have theirs punched as quickly as they can.

Please, before you go racing towards awkward, poorly protected, terrible teenage sex, hear what I have to say.

There’s a girl in your English class who claims to have, “shagged thirteen boys and that’s not including the guy that fingered me behind the bins in McDonalds”. I want you to realise that however convincing this modern love story may sound, there is a very good chance that she’s lying if not exaggerating slightly. Let’s address the chance that your teenage self may have a twinge of envy for her Lothario i exploits, don’t you wish you had such a saucy tale of debauchery to spill out? No. No you don’t. Because, for lack of anything witty and articulate to say, that’s *expletive* disgusting.  Trust me, in time you will understand how repulsive the thought of a young teenage girl allowing herself to be used as a sexual object by strange older men truly is. You’ll also cringe violently at the recollection that you once envied the girl for that reason.

I am in no way telling you that you should wait till you’re married before you have sex or that sex is sinful shameful thing. All I ask is that you don’t rush to loose your virginity, take your time and make sure you are ready to be sexualy active. When you’re older you may have a string of sexual partners, perhaps you’re destined for very successful pursuits in casual sex. I will however say that sex is a complicated act, emotionally (and sometimes physically but we’ll talk about that when you’re older). If your ‘first time’ feels forced, uncomfortable and not at all enjoyable then you’re going to associate those feeling with sex for a very long time afterwards and that would be an out right atrocity!

My message is this, wait a little longer, let it be with someone you trust and always, always let sex be consensual, safe and fun.


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