Thoughts During Spin Class

“We’re late! We’re late! Quick you get us booked in I’ll run up and get us a bike so we don’t have to sit next to that guy that huffs like…well I’d rather not say what it sounds like..”

“How high is this bike seat? Geez was the guy before me a giraffe?”

“Uh! So much resistance, perhaps my wheel is in fact made of lead.”

“Lets start the timer up, this forty five minutes is going to fly by.”

Ten minutes later

“OH DEAR GOD!”

*huff* *pant* *gasp*

“This resistance is so hard, I can barely do 60mph and I’m supposed to be at 90!”

“My legs. My legs. I can’t move them anymore!”

“If I visually show how hard I’m trying by putting a pained look on my face she won’t shout at me to go harder.”

“My lungs! How they burn!”

“How much sweat can a human produce? If there was ever a shortage of human sweat in the world, I’m sure I could fill a few dams with mine.”

“That older woman is going like a machine, must keep going.”

“But I think I might faint. If I fall will the bike come with me? Will I be trapped under the bike?”

“Fifteen more minutes!!”

“Standing attack sprint!? Hows about I slump over the handles and wheeze a little?”

“There’s sweat dripping down my nose! I am a human waterfall! Do not make eye contact with anyone right now.”

“Imagine a hoard of zombies coming, must pedal to escape zombies!”

*Accidentally make zombie groan out loud. Get funny look from woman next to you*

“Hahaha! Screw you zombies I’m gone!”

“Is this Lady Gaga we’re listening to? I can’t stand Lady Gaga!….This is pretty good actually.”

“I feel sick, I’m giving up now, I’ll discreetly roll off my bike and slither from the room.”

“No! I can do this! …Maybe.”

“AND WE ARE DONE! I MADE IT!!”

*Focus on dismounting bike without collapsing*

*Spend next ten minuets trying to return to a human state*

“I feel amazing, that was so good! God I love spin but why does are class have to be upstairs? Trying to get down these steps with wobbly legs is impossible. I feel like a slinky!”

Screen Shot 2015-03-26 at 08.07.27

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